The Profound Words Of A Mason’s Wife

by James C. “Chris” Wiliams IV

Well dear readers of this column, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  I always get a little stressed towards the end of the month when I haven’t heard from John.  I rarely talk to him during the month because we are both so busy, and I know that sometime during that last week of the month I will look up and see him driving into the shop or pick up the phone and he will be there.  The month was two days from being over and I hadn’t heard a peep from him.  Stress was not the descriptive word at this point……it was more like terror.  I have long worried that the day was going to come when John might be sick or the victim of some other calamity that would keep him from enlightening me and the rest of the Masonic Fraternity about what was on his mind and in his stomach for that month.  He was not answering his cell phone and neither he nor Mrs. Deacon was answering their home phone.  My first impression was that something had happened to him, and I knew that if something did that, I wouldn’t be too high on the list of those who got notified first.  I have to admit to some uneasiness as he has been usually very faithful and punctual to his responsibility to our newsletter. He could also just be on a short vacation and forgot to tell me or more likely he just plain forgot about me and the newsletter……and if he did, when I do hear from him, I am going to say something about his having early Alzheimer’s.  Unbelievably it was looking more and more like I was going to have to either make something up on my own or try to reuse an old John Deacon article.  I wasn’t too excited about either choice.  As is my nature, I resolved to wait until the last possible minute to hear from him.  By the time the last day of the month rolled around, and I still hadn’t heard from him, I began to stress even more while racking my brain for something to put in the newsletter.  Then, out of nowhere, an email showed up in my spam box as I went there, as I do a couple of times a day, to delete all the usual garbage that shows up.  There, right in the middle of a lot of scams and too good to be true offers, my eyes focused on one lone email.  And the reason it stood out was because under the title it simply said, “Hello Chris.” As I read that email I couldn’t help but think about my other Brother, Big John Deacon, who is fond of saying that there is no such thing as luck or coincidence…..that things happen for a reason…..and that if you step back and take a broader view of things, sometimes you see and understand more than before.  And the fact that I just happened to see that one email reinforces all that John has been saying.  I knew as I read it that I needed to tell the story of how I received this particular email.

 A few weeks ago, I was invited to speak at a Lodge to a group of Masons, their wives, and some non-Masons.  Before the program, I was talking to a newly initiated EA ….(and because we aren’t allowed to publish names of EA’s I will just call him John).  So, John and I were standing in the back of the kitchen before dinner was served and I was asking him how he was progressing in his work and if he was happy that he had made the decision to be made a Mason.  He told me that everything was progressing well and then he told me something that I believe all of us….or at least most all of us have experienced when we were first made a Mason.  He told me that the night he was initiated as an Entered Apprentice, the experience made him happy and excited.  And although he didn’t quite understand it all yet nor could he completely explain it, he realized that he had just experienced something amazing.  And it was so overwhelming that deep down he wanted to share it with someone….he wanted to share this wonderful feeling with the one person he cared for most in his life…….his wife.  But there was one problem, and it wasn’t until he was home and face to face with her that the realization hit him, that as bad as he wanted to share this happy occasion, he could only share to a point.  They had told him to “keep the secrets” ……and although he wasn’t quite sure specifically what those secrets were……he knew that he must not share them.  As he told me about the mixed emotions of that face-to-face moment, I could hear the concern and a little confusion in his voice.  I had heard it many times before, and had many years ago felt the same emotions.  He was very happy and proud to be a Mason and looking forward with anticipation and excitement to the journey before him.  But he was concerned about how she felt about it.  He wanted and needed her continued blessings on his decision  to join the Fraternity, but he knew that he had not the ability to properly explain and share what he could…….and that bothered him.  I told him about the articles that John Deacon had shared with me late last year and I told him I would send them to him with the hope that his wife might read them and gain a better understanding of not only what he had gone through but also why he was as concerned as he was. He thanked me for suggesting the two articles and assured me that he would gladly pass them to his wife to read.  The dinner and the program were very good and somewhere during the evening I got to meet John’s lovely wife (and keeping with a certain anonymity, we will call her Kellie).  She was gracious and seemed genuinely happy that John was a part of our great Fraternity.  I wondered if underneath she might not be as happy as she sounded, and I hoped that if she weren’t that the two John Deacon articles might help.  I thought about her and John a couple of times on the drive back the next day.  I located the two past newsletters that I had told John about and sent them off to the Worshipful Master of the Lodge because I had failed to get John’s email address……and about a week later….in my afore mentioned spam box I received the following: 

 

Hello Chris,

I am Brother John’s wife and was forwarded your September & October 2015 newsletters for the Davy Crockett Lodge No. 1225 by Brother Travis.  I first and foremost want to say, Thank You, for not only sending those letters to my attention but also for thinking that I would benefit from reading them.  I thoroughly enjoyed every word written and the meaning behind each one of them.  I am, as you know, a wife of a new Mason still going through his initial degree training, and this is all fairly new to me.  I am very proud of my husband of almost sixteen years, and I feel that since we were not able to conceive any children of our own, John has always searched for a greater "reason" for his life - and along comes Freemasonry.  His love for God and his honest heart are what make me the proudest to be his wife - we are each a half, and together we make a whole.  I find truth in your newsletter that with knowledge and clarity comes harmony and happiness - we live that each day as we seek God's truth in our daily lives.  I know there will be things, times, words, tears, gestures, and struggles, that John will not be able to share with me but at the same time, I hope he will know that my hand and heart are on the apron strings he ties at each Lodge meeting.  Will this be something new we have to find common ground in understanding, yes, but that doesn't worry me?  Will this be a commitment that sometimes might take him away from our home, yes, but that doesn't worry me?  I am proud, supportive, accepting, and pushing John to give this only life we're given, all he's got!  I am and will forever be grateful to Freemasonry for giving my dear husband a reason to be a Better Man. God Bless You Chris and keep the newsletters coming!!  Hope to see you again soon.

 So…..go ahead and read it again…..because I know you want to……I surely did and I am not too proud to say that I had to get up from my desk at work and take a trip to the restroom to retrieve some paper towel to wipe my eyes, as they had become blurry with excessive liquid buildup after reading that heartfelt message from a loving and supportive wife, talking about her husband. I will surely have to tell her that they were the words of my friend and Brother John Deacon that had touched her and inspired her to write such a touching tribute to her husband……our new Brother and to Masonry.  I am just proud that I had some small part in it.  It is always exciting to watch a new Mason just beginning his lifelong Masonic journey.  And as our new Brother Entered Apprentice sets out upon that path of Masonic Light I can only say, “Enjoy, my Brother….enjoy!” 

As of the writing of this article I still haven’t heard from John.  If any of y’all out there see him or have any information as to his whereabouts, please let me know.  Until next month, y’all be safe out there.