What Induced You and Goosed By a Goose

 By James C. “Chris” Williams IV, Staff Writer 

The phone call came about 10:30 last Thursday morning.  The person on the other end was attempting to disguise his voice but I knew who it was, and I figured I would play along….at least for a little while.  He wanted to know if he brought his vehicle in for an oil change, does the service include feeding the driver.  Duh….  I told him that he had called the right place at the right time because we were running a ”Blue Light Special” on an oil change and box lunch for only $250.00.  I heard him sputter a couple of times and when he finally replied he forgot to disguise his voice.  “You must be kidding charging $250.00 for changing oil and lunch,” he huffed.  “Weeeeeeeeeeeeell John,” I said.  “I am just protecting my company from bankruptcy.  You are the only one who would expect to eat while getting an oil change.” His cover being blown he chose to ignore my comment and said, “Where do you want to eat durn-it……….  I am hungry.” “I had a Brother suggest to me that I should have lunch by the river in Boerne sometime,” I said.  “I will meet you on Hwy 46 along the river just east of Main Street in Boerne.” “What’s the name of the place,” he asked?  “It’s called a picnic table,” I answered, “and we are going to eat outside since it’s such a beautiful day.  “Outside?” he asked, sounding a little surprised.  “Well, OK….  that, sounds good.” I told him I would see him there.

I stopped at the Church’s Fried Chicken on the way and got a family pack (yes, a family pack that feeds a family of four) of fried chicken and all the fixins and drinks and headed over to meet John.  As I drove up, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  John was standing on the top of one of the picnic tables looking down at about ten geese that had surrounded him.  I got out of my truck and grabbed the food and approached the table trying (not very successfully) to be respectful and not laugh at him.  It wasn’t easy cause he looked pretty ridiculous perched up there like that like he’d just seen a mouse.  I said, “John what the heck are you doing up there?” “What does it look like,” he yelled above the honking geese.  A couple of cars drove by and teased John for his being a big sissy.  “Brother Chris” he said between clenched teeth, “these are the meanest gol-durn geese I’ve ever been around.  That big white one over there is extra mean.  Get ‘em away from me, will ya.” I waded in among them waving my bags and they scattered in all directions, stopped about twenty-five feet away and stared at us.

I laid out our lunch, but before we could eat John started in on me about leaving him with the kids and the bill last month.  “Hey,” he said.  “Why did you run out on me and leave me with all those kids.  When I finally realized what they were cheering about it was too late to turn down the free dessert they brought me.” “Oh yeah John, I am sure you had a hard time turning that down,” I answered with a grin.  “There you go,” he said.  “Being sarcastic again but you are right…there was no way I was turning down a big piece of choke - let cake with ice cream.  It was awfully good.  I guess I accept your apology.” (Is it just me or did I not remember apologizing?)

“You are not going to believe this,” he said changing gears.  “There were more Brothers at our last meeting than in the last two years.  Also, we did have a workday and about ten Brothers showed up for that.  Maybe I got to some of them at least.  It was a real good feeling seeing Brothers that I hadn’t seen in a long time.” “Way to go John,” I said.  I wish we could get that kind of response at our Lodge.” “You can,” he answered.  “How many Brothers do you have that are active in other organizations in or out of Masonry but don’t come to Lodge?” “I counted them up after talking to you last month,” I said.  “I came up with around thirty-three members over and above the ones that regularly come to Lodge and boy that would sure be pretty neat if all those guys would show up to our meetings.” “Well, don’t give up trying,” he said “It will work out.  

Anyway, I have a question for you.  And I want you to think about it before you answer.” “OK, ask away,” I said.  He looked at me for a second or two and said, “OK, here it is, what induced you to become a Master Mason?” Well immediately the proper response came to my lips but before I could say it John held up his hand and said, Brother Chris, this is not a test on the memory work, this is a question of your heart and mind.” I could tell he was enjoying the dumb look on my face.  He said, “Think about it.” Then he grinned, glanced nervously around to see where the geese were, and began to eat and I ……….… I began to think.  Oh boy, I thought.  This is not going to be easy.  I asked myself, “How could I answer this question simply” The answer was obvious ….… I couldn’t.  The easy answer of course was that my grandfather was a Mason.  But that was a copout.  Anyway, he didn’t ask me what induced me to become a Mason he asked what induced me to become a Master Mason.  The more I thought about it the more I knew that the real answer would lie in the process of Initiation, Passing, and Raising.  I knew that all men who ask for a petition for the mysteries of Freemasonry, upon being accepted, are initiated as Entered Apprentice Masons.  After the initiation and during the learning process that follows a seed is planted.  If the new Brother is “duly and truly prepared” this seed germinates and begins to grow with the light (or knowledge) an Entered Apprentice is given.  Those that are not “duly and truly prepared” many times, but not always, fail to continue.  This happens for many reasons but practically never due to philosophical reasons.  Almost always this is due to not being able to finish the work that is necessary due to time constraints, family, or job.  The new Brother, upon finishing his necessary labors in the Entered Apprentice degree is passed to the degree of Fellowcraft, performs the labors of that degree, and soon is ready to become a Master Mason.  By this time, the seed has grown inside of him, and an unbreakable bond formed through the teachings of Freemasonry for God, our Fraternity, his Brothers, and his fellow man.  A bond that has spread throughout his mind and consciousness that has elevated him to a level of awareness he is only just beginning to perceive.  This is all before he has become a Master Mason.  I recalled that most all the Masons that I have known, to a man, have said that their single greatest moment in Masonry was the moment they were raised to the sublime degree of a Master Mason.  And it dawned on me that as profound and as moving as all the lessons of the lower degrees are, how absolutely amazing must it be to be raised to the sublime degree of a Master Mason.  I honestly hadn’t taken the time to think about it that way before.  But it was true.  I also remembered that for me it was over a period of time that many of these profound truths found their way into my consciousness.  For me, as it is with most who are blessed to receive the light that Masonry offers, these basic tenets of life and morality were buried inside me all the time and through the gentle teachings of our ancient Craft I was more easily able to begin to recognize them.  As I contemplated what was before me, I came to the realization that no man really knows what Masonry is before he becomes a Mason.  I know I didn’t.  Each has his own idea based upon what he has read or been told, but Masonry speaks to every man in a way that is unique to him alone.  It was true that I didn’t really find out what Masonry was before I became a Mason.  Then all of a sudden, bam, it hit me!  I had it!  What induced me to become a Master Mason was………….  it had to be ………yes it was ….  Masonry of course!  What made me so eager to become a Master Mason were the profound truths I had learned as an Entered Apprentice and Fellowcraft.  I remember after learning my Entered Apprentice work, I couldn’t wait to be Passed to Fellowcraft and learn more and by the time I was ready to be Raised as a Master Mason the night couldn’t come too soon for me.  Yes, it was definitely the process that induced me to become a Master Mason.  Finally, I was ready to answer the question and I looked up to see John smiling at me, a piece of chicken crumb hanging on the corner of his mouth.  He said, “I’ve been watching you for the past forty-five minutes deep in thought, saw all your expressions as you searched for the solution and I know you have found the answer to my question…..your answer to my question, because everyone’s answer is different. I don’t need to hear it.  I already know what my answer was when I was asked.”

I was glad that there was no one else around us right then.  I am sure we looked a little like two schoolboys planning some sort of mischief sitting there with big conspiratorial grins on our faces nodding at each other.  I looked down and realized that I hadn’t eaten my lunch.  Also, I was pretty sure that I had put more food on my plate than I saw there now.  I looked at John and he had a look of pure innocence on his face.  I was pretty sure he had……….  Oh well it didn’t matter much cause I was not really hungry anyway.

I told John I had to get back to work and he volunteered to clean up everything.  I said, “Thanks John, I enjoyed this talk and thanks for bringing back so many great memories.  When I write this up in the newsletter for our Brothers, I am sure it will make a lot of them think also.” I thanked him again for cleaning up and jumped in my truck and just made the traffic light to cross the river.  As I made the turn, I looked back just in time to see John with all the trash in his hands being chased down the side of the river by a determined gaggle of severely agitated geese.  Boy, those birds sure didn’t like him for some reason.  I noted that he was running away from his truck, and I hoped his stamina level was sufficient to outrun those geese.  I made myself a mental note to check the morning papers to check for an “assault by goose.”  Maybe I should call animal control …………….  (chuckle) Nahhhh.