The Best Of All Breakfasts And The Importance of the Lodge Experience

 By James C. “Chris” Williams IV, Staff Writer - Profound Pontifications of Brother John Deacon

As I begin to write this month’s article I have to chuckle a little remembering my monthly meeting with John.  I could tell when he drove onto the lot and parked in front of the shop that he was, shall we say, “in distress,” as he sometimes is.  As he slid out of that big F-350 I could see that he was either talking to himself or his truck.  I know this for two reasons.  First, he doesn’t have a clue what Bluetooth is, so I know he wasn’t talking on his cell phone and two, he has been known to actually talk to his truck….aka Blackie.  He was still mumbling to himself as he walked in the door.  “Hey Brother John,” I called out in as pleasant a voice as I could muster.  “Who’re you talking to?”  He just stared at me, and I knew he was still upset with me for what happened earlier in the month.  He stood at the counter and gave me a steady stare and said with a touch of sarcasm in his voice, “Brother Chris, I have had a rough couple of weeks and as you already know, it’s all your fault and there you are making it worse.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw my assistant Roger shake his head.  As I gazed up into the pained eyes of this six-foot seven inch two-hundred-and-seventy-five-pound Texas giant, I had to shake my head too.  It was hard to imagine big John Deacon in a fragile emotional state but………….  I guess he hadn’t gotten over it yet.  It, being a couple of incidents that had happened earlier in the month while we were together, none of which were intentional but…… sometimes stuff just happens.  He obviously can’t let it go, so I will have to explain it all before continuing with this article.  It all started a couple of weeks ago when John and I attended one of the Grand Masters’ Conferences.  He had missed the one that was closest to where he lived and had heard from me and others how great it was.  He called me and asked me… no he begged me to go with him to one and even offered to pick me up on the way.  We agreed to share a hotel room to save money and also planned ahead to get to town the night before the conference to attend a 100-year celebration for one of the Lodges.  We were told there was going to be dinner at the Lodge, but when we got there it was only finger food and rabbit food.  I didn’t see anything that I wanted to eat but John was starving and ate all he could, but I could tell it didn’t do much for him.  I got to talking with my buddy, Larry, the Grand Orator, and as usual we were deep in conversation when it was time to leave.  John said he was going to ride back to the hotel with one of the other Grand Lodge officers.  When Larry and I finally left we realized we were both hungry and decided to get something to eat.  As luck would have it we had only gone a couple of blocks from the Lodge when we found a restaurant which looked like a popular spot.  It was pretty busy even as late as it was, but we finally found a place to sit and after checking out the menu it looked like Chicken Fried Steak was the best bet.  When it came it was huge and I didn’t think I could finish it and told Larry I was going to take half of it back to John just in case he was still hungry.  Well it turned out to be really good, and that, along with us having a lot to talk about and not paying attention, I ended up finishing the whole thing.  When I got back to the room I laughingly told John how I was going to bring him back some of my steak but finished the whole thing without realizing it and he didn’t think it was funny at all.  Especially when I told him I was stuffed.  I have never seen a grown man in such a state of distress and frustration.  You’d have thought that I had wrecked his car or something.  He complained for over an hour, and he used a couple of words that I had never heard before or since.  Heck, I don’t think they really were words.  When I got up the next morning he was already gone.  After showering and getting ready I found him in the hotel café surrounded by a stack of plates from the buffet table.  Now that his belly was full he seemed to have calmed down a bit.  By the time we got to the conference he was actually in a pretty good mood.  The conference was great as usual, and we both had a good time.  John managed to tell anyone who would listen how I intentionally tried to starve him.  The story changed a little every time he told it with him being a little worse off than in the previous story.  Everyone enjoyed giving me a hard time about it anyway.  It was a great day, and I made sure he went to sleep that night with a full belly.  We both wanted to get home as early as possible the next day and since we had a long way to go we agreed that we would head out early before the sun was up and get a good start before the day really got going.  After a couple of hours we needed to stop for gas, and John was really complaining about being hungry.  I noticed that the place where we had stopped had one of those chain sandwich shops attached to it which had a sign advertising breakfast sandwiches and since we were still in a hurry to get back I …(yes it was I)….suggested that we get something from there.  He looked at the picture of the breakfast sandwiches on the sign and said he was ok with that.  He finished filling the truck and we walked through the store to the eatery, and I saw that we were the only ones in the place.  We walked up to the counter, and the first sign of trouble was that there was no one there to serve us and after calling out a couple of times a girl came out of the back to help us and I have to tell you that she didn’t look like she was happy to see us. Based on the wall sign John decided on two of the egg, sausage and cheese on an English muffin, sandwiches.  Well she started out by cutting a couple of English Muffins in half and laying them out on the counter.  Then she reached below the counter and brought out a couple of round brown things and dropped them on the counter.  We watched as they both rattled and rotated around and around like a couple of silver dollars..…slow at first and then faster and faster until they finally came to rest on the counter.  John looked over at me, and I saw the uncertainty in his eyes, and it was hard to keep from laughing.  He asked the girl,” Darlin, just what are those little brown thingies?”  She looked up at him, yawned, and said, “sausages.”   He looked at me again and there was some real concern there.  I just smiled and gave him the “not to worry” look and turned to see what was coming next.  She was rummaging around under the counter again and finally produced two little round white things which she laid one on each of the bottom halves of the muffins.  I looked over at John and could barely see his head begin to shake back and forth and I held back a chuckle and looked back at the girl as she asked John what kind of cheese he wanted.  He just looked at her and then down at his sandwiches and back at her and said pointing at the white things, “I thought that was the cheese.”  She looked down and then up again and said, “That’s the eggs.”  Now it doesn’t take much to amuse me and right there I durn near lost it and the look of disbelief in Johns face made it harder for me to hold it in.  He was still shaking his head when he answered “American” to which she replied, “We only have Cheddar, Swiss, and Provolone.”  I heard his voice quiver a little as he said “Cheddar.”  She went below the counter again and plopped two little orange things on top of the sausage things that were on top of the egg things and set the other half of the English Muffin on top and put them in the microwave and in 30 seconds she laid them both up on the counter and slid them towards John who just stared at them like they were going to move. I had seen all I wanted to and when she looked my way I quickly ordered the ham and cheese which got me a mean look from John.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look at his breakfast and then at the picture on the wall (which, neither looked like each other) and then back at the sandwiches.  Then he slowly reached up and took them and walked slowly to one of the tables.  I felt so bad that I paid for his and mine both….like that wasn’t going to happen anyway.  He did eat them both even though he wasn’t happy about it.  He was still grumbling about it when he dropped me off and I really thought he would be over it by now……but I guess not.  Even now two weeks later he was still grumbling.  “And just this morning I ordered Chicken Fried Steak and eggs for breakfast,” he whined.  “And what they called a Chicken Fried Steak was so hard that I could have used it or a weapon.  I am really depressed.  All I have been thinking about for the last four hours driving down here is eating somewhere good so where are you taking me?”  Well, my dear readers, by this time I had a headache and Roger had his head in his hands still shaking it.  It was a little early for me to go to lunch, but I looked over at Roger, and he gave me a wave that translated to “go quickly…take him away.”  I got his portliness loaded up and off we went.  I decided that the only way to get him feeling better was to feed him a real authentic Texas Chicken Fried Steak and it needed to be the big with a lot of gravy and it needed to be quick.  I checked the time and realized that we would never be able to get in the Tip Top at this hour, so I made a bee-line for Lu Lu’s downtown.  He was not in a talkative mood during the drive, or I should say, not in a talkative mood with me.  He was however still mumbling to someone and to be honest, it was giving me the heebie-jeebies.’  I was hoping that eating would snap him out of it.  It took a couple turns through the way-too-small parking lot to find a spot and he was out of the truck and inside the restaurant before I even got out of the truck.  When I finally caught up with him he was deeply inhaling the smell of good home cooking and as the hostess approached us to take us to a seat, he let out his breath and exclaimed “I am home” loud enough to startle the hostess and cause everyone at the closest tables to look our way.  She quickly led us to our table and John immediately began eyeballing the plate of a guy at the next table.  He had a Chicken Fried Steak that was way too big for his plate with a healthy portion of mashed potatoes and pepper cream gravy over all of it.  Heck, it makes my mouth water as I am writing about it and John was mesmerized.  You’d think he hadn’t eaten in a week the way he was acting.  This wasn’t my first rodeo with John, and I knew I had to get him fed quick or bad things were going to happen.  Not bad violent, but bad crazy….it’s happened before.  I waved at one of the waitresses and she came right over.  Her name badge said “Tiffany” and she was real nice.  Right off the bat he was Mr. Nice Guy and gave Tiffany a big grin and pointed at the next table and said, “Darlin you better bring me a couple of those and I’m going to need some extra gravy for sure and a couple of large glasses of iced tea.”  She smiled sweetly and totally ignored me and headed for the kitchen.  John never said a word, so I had to call out to her.  When she turned back around I said, “You forgot my order.”  She looked at me and then at John who quickly grinned and said, “Those were just for me.”  She had a confused look on her face as she took my order, and I assured her that he was going to eat everything he ordered and probably more.  She gave John a thin smile and looked at me again and headed towards the kitchen shaking her head.  There was a lot of that going on that day.  Luckily, we got our food pretty quick and as usual he lapsed into total silence while he ate, which was ok by me.  Tiffany came by and picked up an empty plate just as he started the other and raised her eyebrows in disbelief as she walked away.  He was about halfway done with the last one when Tiffany walked by with a big slice of pecan pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream next to it headed for the table behind us.  John darned near threw his neck out of joint following that plate as it went by.  With his mouth full he grunted to get my attention and motioned with his head towards the table behind us.  Like I said before….not my first Rodeo with John…..I got Tiffany’s attention and ordered, to her shocked surprise, a slice of that pie and the ice cream.  She asked me if she should wait a few minutes and as she did she glanced over and realized that John was going to be done before she got the pie back to our table so off she went.  I checked my watch and realized that it was getting close to time to head back, and he hadn’t said one thing that could be considered profound.  He didn’t seem to have anything that he was dying to tell me this month.  Most of the time John will have something to tell me that he has been thinking about for the whole month, but sometimes the best material comes out of just the times we are just having normal conversation or discussing something that has happened to him.  This was one of those times.  I asked him how things were going in his Lodge and he got to telling me about a degree that they had just done a week before and I could hear the frustration in his voice as he related his feelings over that night.  He said, “Brother Chris, our Lodge really prides itself on being able to put on all three degrees without any outside help and also to do them right.  We practice and we work hard to make sure all of this happens and we are proud of the work we do.  But no one shows up for the degree except for the degree team.  It got me to thinking about all the degrees we have done lately at our Lodge and also degrees I have seen at other Lodges.  In our Lodge we have more Brothers show up for a Stated Meeting than for a degree and it seems to be that way at other Lodges too and I just don’t understand it.  Is it that way in your Lodge, Brother Chris?”  I had been running it over in my mind as he was talking and I answered, “It is pretty much the same in our Lodge too John and I don’t know why because the ritual process to me it is one of the neatest parts of Masonry.”  “You are absolutely right, my Brother,” he said as he pointed a finger at me.  “It is a puzzle as to why.  We all talk about getting more Brothers to come to Lodge for the Stated Meetings and we complain to each other that lack of attendance is mostly due to boring business meetings… but if that is true then why is there poor attendance at degrees, since the ritual is supposed to be the fun and interesting part?”  I just shrugged my shoulders as he rolled on.  “The amazing thing is that every time I watch or participate in a degree, whether it is an Entered Apprentice, a Fellowcraft, or a Masters, I gain a little more understanding of Masonry and many new insights into its mysteries.  And there are those special nights when listening to a certain part of the degree or the obligation that I am struck with a new question that later sends me off researching the answer or maybe a sudden flash of understanding of some part of the degree and its meaning that I had not realized before.  I love working in the degrees and not only learning the ritual but learning and practicing to deliver it properly and make the proper movements.  Whether you are only a ritualist,  a philosopher, both, or part of both, working in and/or watching the degree work should be your Shangri-la.  There is no moral, spiritual, esoteric, or philosophical,  need that cannot be totally satisfied by being in the Lodge room during the conferral of a Masonic degree.  We advertise every degree we do and still only the degree team shows up.  We talk about sending the wrong message……well it starts at the beginning, and the degrees are pretty much the beginning.  I know if you print this, Brother Chris, that a bunch of my Brothers are going to be irritated at me, but we have way too many Brothers who are spending their Masonic careers playing in all these whatchacallit… appendant organizations.  Now before everybody gets all riled up, I belong to a bunch of them too and they all have good intentions and most of them do some really serious charitable work but while they may reference Masonry in their procedures or imitate in some ways Masonic ritual, the fact remains that there is only one Masonry and there is nothing in any of these organizations that cannot be found or received in a Masonic Lodge. If we did a better job of teaching and educating our Brethren there would not be the need for many of these organizations.  The truth is that in almost all of those groups there is no more Masonic Education given in them than is given in our Blue Lodges now….. which is almost nothing.  But we don’t give them education, and we also don’t impress upon them the importance of participation.  I don’t begrudge Brothers for being members of and attending these other organizations because I belong and attend some of them myself, but it is hypocritical for a Brother to think that he has to join other organizations to receive “more light in Masonry” because it’s not necessarily true. It might be fun or fashionable or even interesting to belong to all these different groups, but every Brother should absolutely make time to attend his Lodge; and if he can’t stand the business meetings he should be there for the degrees. If you read, you will find every excuse for not coming to Lodge and every reason why our Fraternity is losing members, but the real reason is we don’t teach them to be Masons.  We give them tools with no explanation on how to use them or what to use them for.  We need to stop all this crap about ritualists and philosophers like they are two different things.  You cannot be a complete Mason without both and anyone who doubts that is not growing the way Masonry intends for him to.  A Brother who is satisfied with only one of those two aspects of the Craft is cheating himself out of true enlightenment.  Those Brothers were given working tools without guidance, pointed to the building, and told to build it without explanation and expected to figure it out for themselves.  Those who scoff at Masonic philosophy and reject it in favor of the ritual are being simple minded and are stopping short of finishing the journey they began when they were made a Mason and those who scoff at the ritual and reject it in favor of philosophy have not the proper working tools to construct the building. They are only equipped to dream about how to build it but do not have the skills and cannot do the work necessary.  Both groups of Brothers are doomed to a Masonic career of searching for answers that are right in front of them but are unrecognizable because of their lack of proper preparation.  You see Brother Chris; you cannot truly be a complete Mason and hope to build that mighty edifice…that perfect temple within your soul without both the ritual and philosophy.  In order to complete the journey, both are absolutely necessary and anyone who tells you different is just plain wrong.  It is going to take a long time my Brother Chris, but we need to stop this ritualists vs. philosophers crap and become Masons… complete Masons. I will tell you that there will always be Brothers who won’t or can’t be philosophic in mind and there will always be Brothers who won’t or can’t wrap their minds around the ritual, but we should be always teachers and guides or both.  It seems to be logical to me that if men were able to figure all this stuff out for themselves there wouldn’t be a reason for the ritual or to teach them how to think deeper than what is plainly visible and understandable on the surface.  This is why Masonry suffers in membership.  We have allowed two different factions to exist at the same time independently within a system that requires both to work hand in hand at the same time towards the ultimate end.”  “Wow, John,” I exclaimed.  “You sure said a mouthful and I couldn’t agree more.”  He slowly nodded and said, “But it’s going to take a lot of teaching and a lot of time to bring this ship back on the right course.  We have to start at the investigation and teach and explain and offer more than one view on what all of this means because no two Brothers eyes see the same things.  One of the greatest beauties of this Craft is to know and understand what another Brothers perception of the Craft is and to see the same thing in a slightly different way, or a way that fits you personally and helps you grow personally. And until we find a way to bring these two separate-minded parts of our Fraternity together our membership and attendance problems will never get better.  We must realize that we cannot promise something and then not deliver…..we must not promise a Brother light and then leave him to find it without proper instruction and education to undertake the task.  We must realize that we can’t give a new Brother only one side of the story or one part of the Craft.  Giving a workman tools (ritual) and telling him to build a building without educating him (philosophy) on how to do it will result in a temple that is not square or plumb.”  I just wish I had the words to express it better.  “I think you did good John,” I said.  “And I could sit here and listen to you all afternoon, but I have to get back to work.”  “Well pay the nice lady and let’s get out of here,” he said.  “Wait a minute, I bought breakfast last week,” I said.  He cocked his head and gave me a pained look and in a low voice said, “That was not what I would classify as Breakfast, and the word food does not even apply.”  “What the heck does any of that have to do with whose turn is it to pay?  It sure seems like I end up paying at least twice as much as you do.”  He actually thought about it for a second before smiling and saying, “You are right my Brother.  You do pay twice before I pay.  So it’s still your turn.”  And with that he walked out the door.  I must have looked pretty dumb standing there with my mouth hanging open and the bill in my hand and Tiffany standing there with a half-smile…..more like a grin on her face.  I mumbled something about getting back at him as I paid the bill.  “He sure is a nice guy,” she offered as she handed me my change.  And as she walked away I made my way to the door shaking my head in disbelief.  Like I said before … there were a lot of people shaking their heads that day.